Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
