respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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