WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
