you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
