ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
