i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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