God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
