in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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