what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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