I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
