I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
