is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
