look no pants
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
