I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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