Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
