Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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