I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
