glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
