I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
