actually, I'm a sock model
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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