I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I will pee on everything he values.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
