found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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