the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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