I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
