if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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