Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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