Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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