Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
