We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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