Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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