I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
