They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
