wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
