oh god the rape fog is back!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
