It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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