I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize