i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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