Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
