Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize