she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
