Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
