guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We left the knife in your bed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
