Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
