I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Holy sore nipples Batman
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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