What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
