remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
