Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
