I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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