i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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