You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
