How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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