youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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