New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
