he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
