I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
