Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
