first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
