Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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