I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
